


Back to the Light

by starspangledbread



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Death, Fix-It, Gen, I'm Sorry Tolkien, Implied Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Suicide, Not Really A Happy Ending, Poor Maedhros, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, maedhros is sad, mentioned fingon, sad elves, the trees are back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-15 22:07:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17537183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starspangledbread/pseuds/starspangledbread
Summary: Maedhros doesn't kill himself at the end of the Silmarillion. Instead, he sets off to try and correct an ancient mistake.





	Back to the Light

But the silmaril burned the hand of Maedhros in a pain unbearable, and it was clear to him that the oath had been made empty, and all of the suffering it had caused was for nothing. Therefore, Maedhros sought a way to end his pain. He fled from Maglor and by chance, it seemed, stood on the brink of a fiery chasm. As he beheld the gaping hole in the earth, he essayed to end his pain by casting himself into the abyss.

But it came to Maedhros, suddenly, a new revelation. The silmaril burned his hand still, blackening the exposed skin. It seemed to him now, if he could not fulfill the oath, perhaps he could right one of the many wrongs done by his father, Fëanor son of Finwë. Upon reaching this new council, Maedhros stepped away from the chasm. It sickened him to behold the product of his oath, so he hid the silmaril in the folds of his raiment. 

Long he sought for his brother, Maglor. But his last surviving kin could not bear the pain of the holy jewel, so he had cast it into the sea. Maedhros, who had wished Maglor to accompany him, sat in thought. He wondered, who now would lend him a ship? For the kinslayings, of Alqualondë most, had caused the Sindar to be wary and mistrustful of any of the sons of Fëanor. Still, Maedhros disguised himself and went to the havens. But he could find no ship that could bear him into the west, not even ere he explained his purpose. 

“I have with me, some object of great importance. It must go into the west immediately.”

But when he did not tell the others what it was he desired to sail with, they laughed and turned him away, sometimes at the point of a sword, if they recognised him. 

His will grew ever stronger, and he thought ever the more on how he could bring the silmaril into the west. For he desired to return his father’s work to whence it came. And he wondered how he might break it, and restore the light of the trees. For he remembered the great light of Laurelin and Telperion, and he desired to fulfill what his father would not have done ages before. He knew he would have little welcome, and no redemption could be won. But he had no want to live, not after he knew the oath was in vain. And he thought, perhaps, that he might see Fingon, the one he held most dear, once more after he passed into the halls of Mandos. 

Therefore, he formulated his final journey. He purposed to ride northwards, and then continue on foot through the grinding ice of the Helcaraxë. But even after a weary journey, his spirit could not be quenched of this new desire. But as far as he might ride, he could not find the beginning of the ice, nor could he see the distant shores of the undying lands. Thus, it was revealed to him that the very land of the earth had been shifted, since the Valar had defeated Morgoth in the war of wrath. Therefore, there was no way, seemingly impassable or not, that he might bring the silmaril into the west. At this he wept, for he deemed that his purpose was vain.

He then thought to call upon the eagles of Manwë, as Fingon the Valiant had done in ages past. But there was no answer, just an echo of his own voice in reply. In anguish, he sought a way that he might craft a ship, but he had neither the knowledge nor the skill to do so. He deemed that the ocean would be impossible to pass by treading through the sea, as he could not accomplish this in his weakened state. He sat long upon the eastern shore, deep in thought. In despair, he held aloft the silmaril. Though it burned his hand still, he gazed upon it and thought about casting it into the sea. 

It came by chance that Eärendil in his voyage saw from afar the glittering light of the jewel akin to his own. Desiring to reveal the source of this light,he guided Vingilot down to the earth. He looked upon the face of the eldest son of Fëanor, and was dismayed. He then made to leave, and return to the heavens, but Maedhros begged him to hearken to his desire. Eärendil did not forget the deeds of Maglor and Maedhros, or of the second kinslaying. Maedhros was silent, for he could not deny the evil he had caused. But he did not repent of the taking of the sons of Eärendil. For Elrond and Elros were raised with great love my Maglor and Maedhros. Indeed, Maedhros told Eärendil of all the deeds of his sons. Eärendil was greatly moved, and he thought that perhaps he could aid the son of Fëanor, if he might learn where his sons now were.

Maedhros told him, and he revealed that Elrond and Elros had left their care once they had come of age. He spoke of Elros’ choice to tread the path of mortals, and Elrond chose to remain among the Eldar. Eärendil was grieved to hear these tidings, but he consented to carry Maedhros and the silmaril into the west. Little is told of the voyage, save that Eärendil pardoned Maedhros for the wrongs committed against him. It is said that Elwing flew out of her tower with great joy at their approach, seeking to greet her husband. When she cast her eyes upon the face of Maedhros, she was aggrieved and desired to cast him out of Vingilot. But Eärendil stayed her hand. And they left Maedhros on the western slopes of the Pelori, with the silmaril clutched in his hand. Maedhros indeed thanked Eärendil, who then continued on his voyage in the air. Now alone, Maedhros ventured south, silmaril in hand. He made for Taniquetil, thinking he could stand before the valar and present himself to their judgement. 

\------

It was a time of great festival in Valmar, as the Eldar and Vanyar were celebrating their victory over the dark lord. But Varda saw the great light from afar and cried out

“See now! A silmaril has indeed been returned to us!”

But Eonwë replied,

“None of my men had been left behind, nor would they have reclaimed a jewel from the cursed hands of the sons of Fëanor.”

But Manwë looked, and he too saw the light from the jewel. But a fire clouded the face of its bearer, so they could only understand who it must be. 

“Indeed! For it is not one of your men, it would seem. Nelyafinwë has returned into the west, even despite his banishment!”

Eonwë cried. He then made ready to smite the son of Fëanor. But Varda spoke to him.

“Should we not let him come forth, and face judgement?”

But Manwë replied, 

“Nay, let him reveal his purpose.”

Maedhros came to Valmar, and was dismayed to see that it was changed. The glittering streets were empty, and he realised that a festival was occuring. As he neared the base of Taniquetil, he was stayed by the sword of Eonwë. The valar came down from their great halls, and Yavanna spoke.

“Thrice cursed son of Fëanor, what purpose could you have in the blessed realm? Does the doom of Mandos not still stand?”

To this, Maedhros gave no answer. He held out the silmaril in his burned and blackened hand. 

“I now present myself for your judgement. But hear me, I now have a silmaril. Yet my oath can never be fulfilled, I can see that now. So I say to you, let me right one of the wrongs of Morgoth and my father. Please take now this jewel. Use it, and restore the light of Laurelin and Telperion.”

The valar were silent. Then, Aüle spoke.

“And what would you demand in return?”

Maedhros was silent. And then,

“Release, lords. For I now desire not life, and yet I cannot have death ere the oath holds me. For I wish now above all else to see my kin. If you could grant me a swift release, that is all I desire in return.”

And Nienna perceived that he told no lie, and she wept for the forsaken children of the Noldor. Maedhros held out the silmaril to Yavanna. 

“Take it now, and heal your creation. Take this jewel and release me from this anguish!”

Yavanna took the silmaril, and the valar created a great crowd about the mounds of the trees. But try as they might, the valar could not break the holy jewel. For it would not be marred by any of their hands. There was a great despair, as they indeed thought it was hopeless. But Maedhros stepped forward, and he took the burning jewel and held it aloft.

“Indeed, the silmaril cannot be broken while the oath still stands.”

Therefore, Manwë and Varda called upon the light of Illuvatar and denied the fulfillment of the dread oath. For the everlasting dark could not claim the eldest son of Fëanor while he was with Manwë, who heard the will of Eru. Thus, the silmaril cracked into a great storm of crystal and light. Yavanna took the shining light of the trees, and imbued it into the roots. Maedhros cried out, for the bursting of the silmaril cut through his left hand, causing a great pain upon him. But the valar gave no heed, for suddenly Telperion gave off a sudden silver light, greater than ever before in ages past and Laurelin rejoiced in the light, and reflected off its own golden beams. 

A great music went up from the valar and eldar watching. Nienna wept tears of joy, and Yavanna caressed the branches of her trees. It is said that Arien and Tillion themselves came to witness the light from which they were made. 

Mandos himself approached Maedhros, who was cast on the ground outside of the company. As he looked upon the face of the vala, he knew that he could never abide in the bliss of Aman. Mandos then spoke to him.

“You could reap any reward, son of Fëanor. You have done deeds surpassing valour, and we have granted pardon to greater evils than yourself, kinslayer.”

At this, Maedhros was silent. But he knew, even with a full pardon, he could never be free from the torment of his thoughts.Therefore, he spoke to Mandos.

“My heart desires not these things. For I wish now to depart from your mighty halls, relieved from the confines of the oath and this world. There is nothing left for me now, not in Aman, nor in Ea. I would now seek the company of those whom I have long awaited. My only desire is to be again united with the ones I love most dearly.”

So Mandos took up the sword of Maedhros, forged for him by his father. With it, Mandos slew the oldest of the house of Fëanor where he knelt before him. His spirit indeed passed into the great halls beyond the world, and was at rest. Mandos told not of his reunion with Fingon the Valiant, or Nerdanel the Wise, only that it was a joyous occasion. 

Thus it came to pass that the oath was fulfilled, and the great light of the trees was restored. At last, darkness was vanquished from the west.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm sorry if this is terrible, It's my first fic ever.


End file.
